SirfMayuR..

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, ‘I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.’

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, ‘Who was that?’

‘It was Bob the next door neighbour,’ she replies.

‘Great,’ the husband says, ‘did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?’

Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift.

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’

The priest apologized ‘Sorry sister but the fleshis weak.’

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, ‘Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.’

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.

The Genie says, ‘I’ll give each of you just one wish.’

‘Me first! Me first!’ says the admin clerk. ‘I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.’

Puff! She’s gone.

‘Me next! Me next!’ says the sales rep.. ‘I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.’

Puff! He’s gone.

‘OK, you’re up,’ the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, ‘I want those two back in the office after lunch.’

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4: An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, ‘Can I also sit like you and do nothing?’

The eagle answered: ‘Sure, why not.’

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5:

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

‘I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree’ sighed the turkey, ‘but I haven’t got the energy.’

‘Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?’ replied the bull. They’re packed with nutrients.’

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree..

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story: Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there..

Lesson 6:

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lays there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story: (1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.

(3) And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut!

Congratulations! !! THIS ENDS YOUR 5 MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE..

Cheers, SMR..

Was going through this good article and thus thought of posting it:

Work can be a stressful place, wherever you earn your living, whether in an office, a factory, or a school. Some stress is good. It motivates us and makes us stronger. Too much stress is bad. It makes us irrational and it can, quite literally, kill us. Fortunately, there are specific things you can do that will help you reduce your stress at work and better cope with it.

Here’s How:

1. Improve your time management and organization skills. Of the many things you can to in this area the best ones include getting a to do list that works, learning to say “no”, asking for help when you need it, and stop setting unrealistic goals for yourself.
2. Relax and breathe deeply. Whether you are feeling overwhelmed by the amount or work you have to do or if someone is “in your face”, a good thing to do is to “breathe through your nose”. You can’t get as worked up if you force yourself to breathe through your nose. Your body simply can’t maintain the same level of energy without that extra oxygen you get when breathing through your mouth.
3. Take more breaks from your work. Even a five-minute break will help. Get away from your desk. Go for a walk - outside is better, but up two flights of stairs and back down is good too. Getting more exercise in general will help you reduce your overall stress levels and that will make it easier to reduce your stress level at work.
4. Lighten up. Smile more. We all know laughter reduces stress. You will be amazed at how much more pleasant the people around you are when you make an effort to be pleasant yourself.
5. Learn to listen better. Rather than getting upset when others disagree with you, listen actively and find the areas of agreement. Be assertive and stand up for yourself, but don’t be rigid.
6. Fix your environment. Make whatever adjustments you need to the lighting, temperature, noise level, and other controllable factors in your office.
7. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Realize that there are some things that just aren’t worth worrying about and there are some things you just can’t change. Don’t waste time stressing over the things in either category.
8. Get more sleep. This is another of the things you can do to reduce your overall stress that will have benefits at the office as well. In addition to reducing your stress, it will increase your energy level and your ability to concentrate.
9. Find a mentor If not a mentor, a friend will do. Having someone to talk to can take a lot of stress off you.
10. Spend more time with optimistic people. Negative people will pull you down to their level. Choose to work with people who have a positive attitude instead.

Do comment.. 

Sourced from About.com..